The ABCD’s of Activating Hope: A female psychologist’s perspective a week after Roe vs Wade is overturned.
Roe vs Wade was overturned last Friday. We were given a heads-up, sort of, but the conclusive decision still came at a blow. The news was difficult to process, let alone also get through the day-to-day. Why are we expected to carry on as usual? We can’t be. This seismic decision alters every American’s life, leaving at least half of the population feeling defenseless and maybe even hopeless. I’m here to say it’s OK if you can’t muster up enough energy to give your all right now– give it your best and that will be enough.
I don’t attempt to give a peptalk or try to positively reframe a horrible thing. I’m here to share my hope. I was reminded by my patients this week that one doesn’t necessarily just have hope, but rather, one hopes. Hope is an active word, a verb (v). How do we turn this popular noun into a verb? I try to practice the ABCD’s of Activating Hope.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Be in your feelings. Feel them throughout your body. Name them. Accept them. Validate them. All emotions are appropriate and sensible! Big news = big emotions.
Anger, fear and sadness were among the first feelings I felt when I heard the news. My heart began to race (anger), my eyes swelled up with tears (sadness), and my thoughts could not be tamed (fear).
Breathe
It may sound silly, but here’s your friendly reminder to breathe. Inhale, exhale. Ground yourself.
I sat in the chair that held me, my feet flat on the ground and back upright against the chair, sweaty palms faced up on my thighs, and eyes closed as I breathed deeply and slowly. Once I noticed my inhales and exhales, I opened my eyes and named 5 things I could see, 4 things I could feel, 3 things I could hear, 2 things I could smell, and 1 thing I could taste. I was grounded in the present moment and a safe space.
Community
Being a part of something larger helps us feel safe, important, and connected. Check-in with your community: How are they doing? Share how you’re doing. Be gentle with each other; we all have feelings about this decision. You’re not alone in how you feel, and now is the time to confirm and corroborate those feelings.
It’s not just this decision, but it’s decisions past and decisions future. The fate of already marginalized communities only looks to be more controlled and inhibited by people who don’t understand them, and even more, fear them. Humans fear what we cannot understand, so we seek to control the unknown. History and social psychology tell us this is not a long-term solution. Community needs community; people need people. Turn to your family, friends, community, colleagues for love (v), support (v), hope (v).
Do Something
Here we are. A week later. The feelings are still here and now it’s time to HOPE. We vote, peacefully protest, donate, volunteer, educate ourselves and others on history and current events. However doing feels right to you, do it. Clearly Clinical provides Reproductive Justice Resources listing charitable organizations, reproductive care websites, and other helpful links.
We’ve been hoping fiercely and nonstop for the last 2.5 years. Decisions like this– made by authority, and seemingly void of empathy and compassion– alter everyone’s lives and leave us feeling powerless and unable to trust those who are supposed to protect and support us. Our hope is in overdrive and it’s exhausting. AND we can’t stop here.
Hope (v)
Hope is not a passive thing that comes and goes, depending on our environment. Hope is a verb that requires active attention: Acknowledge your feelings, Breathe, connect with your Community, and Do something. How will you practice the ABCD’s of Activating Hope in your life?
